Day 4 – 11/26/2018

Today ended up being a pretty productive day, though I didn’t get everything that wanted to do done, I did have some good conversations and some deep thought, which is always a good thing.

I have had many ideas about what I could write about today, however if I wrote thoroughly about all of them, this post would be a novella instead of my typical blog post, so I will keep it relatively short, if such a thing exists in my mind, as it’s always going ten thousand miles per hour and is difficult to control.

I was in fact just talking to a friend about how my thought processes and my brain works. As an example to attempt to describe how it works when I’m having a conversation, I used the analogy of a train having several different tunnels next to each other that it could divert to. Oftentimes my mind sees so many options, most of them relevant but not necessarily the best option, that it has to pick one. I don’t know if it’s a form of OCD, however I have found that typing or writing down my thoughts often helps these mental trains stay on their respective tracks and not hop around nearly as much, which is one reason I’m writing this blog to begin with.

There are many topics that I could write about today, from the sermon that was taught at church this morning or the conversations about free will or predestination that were had at a study tonight, or even my thoughts on the lyrics of a few songs that I was pondering while driving to and fro where I needed to go today. If I was to write them all, I would be here quite a long time.

Instead of rambling on about predestination, free will, whether Heaven is spiritual or physical (I believe the Bible teaches it’s physical), I’ll dive into the lyrics of a song that I listened to this evening on the radio. As soon as I stopped, I had to grab my phone and look at the lyrics for I could later read them again.

The song was: The One I’m Running To by 7eventh Time Down.

He’s staring at the bills and rubbing
Red eyes
Ain’t adding up to nothing but some
Hard times
He’s feeling like a failure at life

(So often in life I feel like a failure and I’m struggling to get things to add up to what I think they should, given my finite knowledge of the situation and what I think the outcome should be. I have to tell myself that oftentimes I’m too hard on myself. Things don’t always have to add up to what the culture or even social media is saying that they should. I’ve had many instances until I’m up until 3am in the morning worrying about things that I can’t do anything about. The Bible actually says when you read it that worrying and anxiety is a sin, to give them to the Lord, but this is easier said than done, especially when they’re serious matters, but that’s when we need to do it the most.)

Head down
Part of him is tempted just to
Skip town
But deep inside he knows enough to
Cry out
God I’m tired of fighting this fight

(I’ve thought about this myself. It’s unrealistic given my circumstances, but I think what about if I could just skip town and start over. Then, I have to really ponder if things would be any different. I’ve been tired of fighting this fight with my many health issues, the chaos in my mind and miscellaneous spiritual warfare and just life as a whole many times, but I’ve never fully given up yet, I’m still here and breathing.)

I’m running low on faith
But I won’t run away

(We can’t run away from our issues, they won’t just clear themselves up. I’ve felt low on faith so many times, but it’s really when we need to cling on Christ the most.)

Tonight I’m gonna fix my eyes
On the only Hope who satisfies my heart
You are the One I’m running to
Everything that’s good and right and true
Jesus, I’m coming after who
You are, You are
The One I’m running to

(Hebrews 12:2 – We do this by fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. —- God is the only one that can truly satisfy our hearts. No relationship, no friendship, no possession, no fame, no accolades, no worldly thing can satisfy our hearts and fill that hole that only Christ can fill. We have to run after him, not just walk. Run to him with urgency, with a pep in our steps. He’s everything that is good, right and true. There’s nothing else that is. There’s not one person on this Earth that is good, not one human, not one. He is the source of everything good, he is the source of everything right, everything true, everything admirable, everything that is worth thinking about, so it would make sense to think of these things, we should think of the source first. We have to ask are we running after Him or are we running after our own satisfaction?)

Late shift
She’s working hard providing for her
Three kids
She hasn’t seen her husband cause they’re
Stretched thin
Nobody told her it would be this hard
There’s no end in sight, but she says
No compromise

(She’s working hard providing for her three kids. It doesn’t say if she’s working two jobs herself while watching her kids or if she’s a stay at home mom, but it’s still insanely difficult as I picture her husband as a man who works 16 hour days who is grumpy when he gets home with no time for a properly relationship, letting his job take complete control of his life, without providing the emotional support that his wife needs, yet this mother of three, while there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight to these hardships and this dilemma, doesn’t compromise in her beliefs, which shows that she is a strong believer and gets what God is truly about and that He will work all things to the good of those who love Him. Loving God means no compromise. Obeying him, trusting Him, honoring him in your every word, thought and action and by living life even in the midst of these struggles and not compromising in her faith, she’s doing just that.)

Tonight I’m gonna fix my eyes
On the only Hope who satisfies my heart
You are the One I’m running to
Everything that’s good and right and true
Jesus, I’m coming after who
You are, You are
The One I’m running to

(This is a repeat of the chorus, no additional commentary needed.)

So much I don’t understand
In the middle of this circumstance
But I know my life is in Your hands

(There’s so much that we can’t understand in the middle of the tough circumstances that this life can throw at us. We don’t know why they’re happening, we don’t understand what God is doing in the midst of it, we can get stuck in the chaos and wonder if Christ is there at all. The correct response, as this verse shows, is to know that our lives are in Christ’s hands, no matter how difficult it gets, that as long as we focus on Him and love and obey Him, he’ll work things to the good of those who love Him. We aren’t guaranteed another day, another hour, another second or another breathe. Our lives are very much in His hands, no matter the circumstance.)

Tonight I’m gonna fix my eyes
On the only Hope that satisfies, my heart
You are, You are

(already commented)

Everything that’s good and right and true
Jesus, I’m coming after who
You are, you are
The One I’m running to

(again, running to. Not walking. Not taking two steps forward and one step back. Running to. Running requires using energy, it takes effort. The good thing, is the more we run, the more endurance we get and the more we’re able to do it. I believe this applies to the Christian walk as well. Ironic how it states running when it’s the Christian walk.)

What is quite odd is these are the things that I think about when I hear the lyrics of a song. Yes, I think of the melody or the tune, but I also think of the contents of the lyrics and how much they actually mean. How intentional they are and how much truth they’re putting out there. I can think of all of these things while driving and still keep my eye on the road and have so much to think about and so many insights that it is ridiculous. The negative though, is my memory is horrible.

Regardless, I think I’ll stop writing shorting as I have to get my flush done. I’m already behind schedule.

I’ll leave with this verse of the day from

1 Corinthians 6:19 –

Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself.

I would recommend reading this verse in context, the entire chapter, as it’s pretty clear what it’s talking about, but I always find myself reading the surrounding verses as well as they add layers that I otherwise might not have remembered.

I hope that everyone has a good night, day, morning, afternoon, evening or whatever it may be where you’re at.

Just Stephen


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